Conversation Checklist for Intended Parent(s) and Sperm Donor

 

When an intended parent(s) is hoping to work with a "known" or anonymous sperm donor, there are many detailed and complex issues that can arise during the donation process as well as many years into the future.  

Our clients often ask for a checklist of common issues that may arise during the donation process, so we've compiled a list of some of the most important topics that need to be addressed between the intended parent(s) and sperm donor.  The list can be found on our website by clicking here and also copied below. If you think we missed anything, please feel free to leave a comment and let us know!  

Important Disclaimer:  This list is provided by Kesten Law for informational purposes only and is not intended to be used as a legal guide and should not be relied upon as legal advice.  The topics listed below are purely representative in nature and this is not in any way intended to be a comprehensive list of issues that may arise in an agreement between a sperm donor and the intended parent(s) or any other interested parties.  Every relationship and situation is unique and different, and the advice of qualified legal counsel is necessary to establish your rights for your specific arrangement.  

  • Name of party(ies) who will become inseminated with the donor sperm?  
  •  Is the party(ies) who will be inseminated with the donor sperm an intended parent?
  • Will the sperm be utilized to conceive a child by inseminating a surrogate?
  • Who will be the intended parent(s) of the child(ren) conceived with the donor sperm?
  • If there is more than one intended parent, what is the relationship between the intended parents?  Married?  Registered domestic partners?
    • If there is no legal relationship between the intended parents, will the non-carrying parent legally adopt the child(ren) conceived with use of the donor sperm?
      • If not, will there be a written agreement between the intended parents regarding right, obligations and/or limitations?
    • Will there be a separate, written agreement between the intended parents regarding parental roles, rights and responsibilities regardless of the legal relationship between the intended parents?
  • What, if any, estate planning has been considered and/or implemented to protect parental rights, custody and assets?
  • Who will donate the sperm?  Is it an anonymous donor? A known donor?
    • If working with a known donor, what is the relationship between the donor and the intended parent(s)?  
    • Was their an existing relationship prior to the agreement to donate sperm?  If so, how long have the parties known each other?
    • Has the donor donated sperm to other intended parent(s)?
      • If so, have the parents registered their information with a sibling registry?
      • Will you, as the intended parent(s) register with a sibling registry?
    • Does the sperm donor and the intended parent(s) have mutual friends or share a social circle?  
      • If so, have the parties discussed confidentiality?  
      • What level of confidentiality do each of the parties desire?  
      • How will this be addressed?  
      • Will there be a formal confidentiality agreement?  
    • What is the extent of the conversations that have taken place between the sperm donor and the intended parent(s)?  
  • The American Society of Reproductive Medicine guidelines state that to provide maximum protection to the intended parent(s) and child(ren), that the sperm be frozen and quarantined for a period of six months before the intended mother’s eggs are inseminated.  However, the parties may agree to waive this guideline and instead use the exception to the guidelines for known sperm donors which do not require a six month quarantine period.  
    • Has this been discussed?  What is the agreed upon quarantine period?
  • At what point will the donor relinquish control over the donor sperm?  
    • At the point of deposit with a sperm bank of fertility clinic?  
    • At the point of insemination?  
    • It is critical for the parties to address this question to avoid any disagreements regarding the disposition of the fetus should the intended mother experience difficulties with the pregnancy.   
  • Do all parties to this agreement understand that the law in California regarding children conceived by sperm donation from a known donor may not provide clear guidelines regarding support and custody of a child, and therefore, each party agrees to cooperate to complete all documents and/or actions that may be legally necessary or advisable to establish the intended parent(s) as the legal parent of any child conceived as a result of this arrangement?  
  • Does the intended sperm donor agree not to contest the intended parent(s) right to be the sole legal parent(s) of the child?
  • Does the intended parent(s) agree not to seek child support or financial obligations for the child from the sperm donor?
  • Does the sperm donor agree not to seek custody rights to the child?  
    • Does sperm donor agree that if he seeks any rights to the child, whether financial, legal, custodial or otherwise, that he is doing so in violation of the terms of the proposed agreement between sperm donor and intended parent(s) and therefore all court costs, legal fees and expenses of all parties shall be the responsibility of sperm donor?
  • Is the sperm donor free from serious medical and/or psychological problems that could cause any difficulties?
  • Does the intended parent(s) anticipate any future involvement with child rearing from the donor?  If so, what type of relationship will the donor have with the child(ren)?
  • What does the intended parent(s) expect from the donor?  
  • What does the donor expect of the intended parent(s)?
  • What financial compensation has been agreed upon?  
    • How was this agreement reached?  
    • Are all parties in agreement that this will be the final and complete compensation and there will be no future compensation?
  • What does the intended parent(s) want the donor to disclose to his friends and family?  
  • What does the donor want to disclose to his friends and family?  
    • If there are differences of opinion regarding what information will be disclosed, how will this be handled?
  • What kind of relationship does the intended parent(s) have with the donor now, and do the parties foresee a relationship in the future?  If so, what will it look like?
  • What information about the donor will be disclosed to the child(ren)?  
    • How?  
    • When?
  • Will the donor cooperate if any legal proceedings are needed with regard to establishing parental rights?
  • If the sperm donor plans to donate sperm again, will he register with a donor registry?
  • Will the intended parent(s) register with a sibling registry so that the child(ren) conceived using donor sperm will have access to possible siblings?
  • Why is the sperm donor interested in donating?
  • Has there been a formal background investigation?  
    • If so, are there any red flags that need to be discussed with the donor or a professional?
  • Has there been an informal background investigation?  
    • If so, what has been discovered?  
    • What has been verified?  
    • Is there any information that needs to be further investigated either formally or informally?
  • Have there been any discrepancies in the information given by the donor and the information discovered through a formal or informal background investigation?
  • Will you agree on a dispute resolution clause?  i.e. If there is a dispute in the future regarding this arrangement, will the parties agree to mediation or arbitration rather than litigation?